I was sitting at a café, people watching.
And aware of the running dialogue in my head.
Critiquing people’s clothes and behavior.
Making judgments. Issuing mental report cards.
And I thought: Stop.
Stop being so judgmental. Stop acting like your values and ideas are definitive.
You’re just one person, same as them. Who says your way is better? Or that you’re better than them?
I wanted to be less judgmental. I wanted to stop acting like my values and ideas were definitive, like I knew better, like I was better.
I wanted to be a better person – relearn how to see people, from a place where everyone has the right to be and act and dress with the same right as me. To understand that we’re all equal.
Obviously, there’s no shortcut. Being more respectful to people and their choices, and being more sensitive to people’s feelings, is rooted in everything from a healthy childhood to having years of therapy to having a content life in the present.
But still. I made a conscious effort to monitor when I was being judgmental. When I felt the impulse, I tried to stop it, to pay attention, to not go in that direction. Learn more humility, and not automatically judge. Saying to myself, “Don’t judge. They have the right, same as you. You’re not better than them.”
That’s the embryo of this campaign. The personal journey to be a better person, less judgmental, to learn to respect in some fundamental way, everyone’s exact right to their own personhood. To learn humility, in approaching others.
There’s a spectrum of difference, obviously – from thinking it, to saying it, to being rude and bullying, to being violent. But the common link is being judgmental, unloving, superior.
It’s a process for every one of us in our lives, from the moment we’re born, to learn to love, to respect, to learn humility. That’s the ultimate wisdom.
As the American forefathers said – with slight updating – “All Men (and Women) are created equal.”
HeathCliff Rothman